Teacher: If I had nine apples in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands!
Wife: Do you want dinner, dear?
Husband: Sure! What are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
Teacher: Thomas, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
Thomas: I is...
Teacher: No, Thomas. We say, 'I am...'
Student: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
- What a strange pair of socks you are wearing today! One is brown and the other one is green!
- Yes, that is really strange. I've got another pair at home that are exactly the same.
Source and more jokes here.